Not Another Manic Monday

In a continuation of Friday’s post, that was prematurely released the evening before the intended date, our heroine continues to promote the short version of communication by asking, “What’s your LBL?” As she considers the acronym she asks herself if the target shorty is too close to the lipoprotein conversation as in Low Breastline Lipoprotein.  She ponders the potential confusion and decides to explain what LBL, in her parlance is.

With this introduction from the narrator, you have a glimpse into the three cogs and two gerbil wheels that turn in your writer’s head.  Let’s move back to speaking in the first person.

LBL, in Nikkidom is Leave Behind Legacy. Yes, I’m on that kick again.  The latest rumination comes from a leisurely Saturday afternoon wandering aimlessly around the floor of the Atlantic City (Frantic City in Flintstoneland) Convention Center.  The antique car show was in full swing.  By some accounts the volume of activity represented a small fraction of the good old days.  There were all shapes, sizes and colors of vehicles from the Model A to the latest high performance sports car that would be swallowed up by the cavernous breaches in road surface the permeate the network of paved vehicular passages.

But this is more about the people than the vehicles.  Yes, there were all shapes and sizes of people also.  What struck me was the variety of reactions to the four beauties gracing the aisles.  There were gawks, stares, under the breath comments and snickers.  There were also greetings and conversations that gratified and satisfied.  We were in afternoon mode, casual but not ‘just out of bed casual’. The under the breath comments, furtive looks and snickers are what prompt this post.

The mind is a terrible thing to ruin with preconceived notions about people, places and things.  Are we destined to be the instantaneous society?  Drop a thought onto the heating coils of our mind and we formulate a conclusion?

In a world obsessed with entertainment at the expense of discernment; when talking heads have no respect for each other that three or four talk simultaneously creating a cacophony of unintelligible chatter, we should set the example.  Being thoughtful requires self-control and the willingness to listen first and respond second.  A famous actor once said, “Be long on ears and short on mouth”. Not bad advice.  We’re all susceptible to ‘ready, fire, aim’ or ‘fire, aim, ready’ responses.

Rapid fire conclusions can be effective if you are trained to process facts efficiently and effectively.  I’m not skilled enough to be counted among the elite of that mental category.

“What’s your point Nikki?”  The people who snicker and comment about us are most likely devoid of mental acuity and discernment.  They are either too busy to gather facts before processing to a decision or they’ve lived in an sheltered or cloistered environment of pristine monotony that anything off the center line of their straight and narrow is difficult or impossible to fathom.

Yes, it is this world into which we enter as the person we long to be.  It is our strength of character and in some cases ‘devil may care’ attitude that crosses the moat, scales the walls and breaches the battlements of insular thinking. Being a pioneer is difficult – uncharted territory and arrows in the back the potential byproducts.  But we venture beyond artificial limits, intent on instigating change.

Let’s strive to make a difference, a positive difference.  If we don’t already love who we are, we’re getting there.  One of our legacies should be to engender initial understanding and ultimately acceptance for who were are and what we are.  We will then be present on the “when” – an identifiable marker on the timeline of history. 

Let’s make 2015 the year of creating the legacy.  The legacy of transgender understanding and acceptance that will make the world a better place.  Who knows, we might positively impact world opinion in ways only the most nimble of minds can fathom.

Have a wonderful day.

Love and hugs, Nikki Nicole DeCaro

What do you want for a nickel’s worth of free advice, words that come together in cohesive fashion (yes you know I’m all about fashion – others are all about da base bout da base), coherently structured to engender the rapt attention of prospective readers?

I can give you all the words you want.  There’s a book that contains all the books in the world.  I draw my inspiration from that book because there is no storyline to confuse my pwetty wittle head. And there are no hidden meanings to the words.  Therefore I don’t have to read between the lines and I can save you the trouble of searching for the fine print.  I assure you there is no ‘fine print’ in my writing.  It’s not because I’m not a lawyer, which I am not… a lawyer that is.  It’s because the fine print is droll and detracts from your ability to snooze as you follow my ramblings.

“So what’s your post about today darling?”

Sit tight, I’ll get to the point once I’ve had my little jaunt down the lane upon which memories are made. The written word is idyllic.  It’s reminiscent of a bygone era, before we had instant messaging, acronyms that replaced fully fleshed out words.  IDK how things got so condensed, LOL. When I think of all the times I’ve struggled with spelling and context I LMAO.  But it all comes down to what motivates you and how much time you have to devote to a task. WWYLMTS when I don’t have time to talk to you?  Call me?  I’d rather text.  This way I can control the duration or the brevity of the conversation.  Who needs inflection, intonation and all the other passé nuances that accompany the spoken word?

I guess (and I’m not very good at guessing that’s why I don’t play guessing games) once you strip away the opportunity to convey feelings and meanings in subtleties that could be construed as either playful and sultry (or boring and useless if you’re too busy) then cobbling together the first letter of a string of words into a multiple capital letter presentation is about as exciting as communication can get. Okay, TTYL on that topic IYHTTTI.

Friday is upon us.  I know I posted this confluence of words the night before the intended day. And another week is in the books.  What have you to show for your efforts?  Suffer through another boring workweek?  Count the number of people exhibiting signs of the cold virus?  Ponder how time seems to move more quickly the more “X”s we place on the calendar?  All of the above?

Try this for fun.  Hold your breath and count to twenty in Base 2.  I never understood why we learned how to count in any base other than Base 10.  I don’t remember any job interviewer who asked my proficiency in any mathematical context other than Base 10.  Don't tell me you never had the pleasure.  You haven’t lived unless you’ve experienced the penultimate level of confusion trying to figure out when to carry over to the next place when adding a string of numbers.  After that, an abacus is almost science fiction.

Okay, I know you didn’t come all this way to talk numbers, unless it’s dress sizes, shoe sizes and bra sizes.  Well in case you are wondering, a 32 bra in Base 10 is a size 40 bra in Base 8.  And a size 12 dress in Base 10 is only a size 10 in Base 12. Have a little fun around the table after partaking in your favorite spirits.  Keep people guessing.  Why should I be the only one who sees guessing and an entertaining endeavor?

Have a wonderful weekend.  Be safe, be funny and be lighthearted.  You deserve the opportunity to do anything you heart desires.  I hope to see you soon – maybe at the Keystone Conference.  Oh no that’s in two weeks.  Well in Base 5 that’s three weeks, so I still have time to make my arrangements!

Love and hugs, Nikki Nicole DeCaro

Fortunate Not to Be Unfortunate

Fortunate or unfortunate

When you do something right and lack of gratitude, and the extreme - personal attack greets your offering, do you begin to wonder if the statement “No Good Deed Goes Unpunished” is a truism?

What motivates people to make personal attacks?  And where is it written that I’m the designated target?  I’m sure you understand my position.  I guess not everyone learned the lesson of treating others as you want to be treated.  Unless you are captivated by vulgarity and expletives being hurled incessantly and without substantiation that should be a non-starter.  I guess you could say there’s no reason to utilize gutter language to make a point.  Civility should be the mode of operation and it should be accompanied by discernment and a reasonably long fuse connected to your temper.

What am I getting to with these comments?

Venturing into the public domain with anything that comports with your inner feelings may expose you to Neanderthals who have an overinflated view of themselves and what passes for righteousness in their microscopic slice of the world.  These (hopefully tiny population) people (and I use the term loosely here) believe it is their inalienable right to castigate, excoriate and ridicule what they don't understand.  Their narrow view of the world is not capable of absorbing anything outside their microcosmic universe.

I am bothered by such liberal abuse of the First Amendment.  That’s probably why there is the Second Amendment. No, I don’t suffer from inferiority.  I’m not seeking sympathy. If you thought so, you haven’t been reading my posts.  But I do bristle at personal attacks; especially from the uninformed, the angry and the frustrated who seek an outlet for their venom.  And I don’t cotton to them.  I’ll defend anyone under attack and will do so as part and parcel of my belief that treating others as you would prefer, includes helping those upon whom emotional and psychological vitriol is spewed.

 Don’t get me wrong. I count myself blessed that I can articulate.  What may seem unintelligible to you feels cogent and clear to me.  Chalk it up to a higher level of security than I probably should exercise.

Life feels right when you can express confidence in the face of adversity.  When a personal attack comes – and thank goodness it’s not often, I flip the ‘reserve’ switch and overpower negativity with positivity.  Once you condition yourself to protect your right to be right, you won’t be put off, won’t be sidetracked or relegated to acting under duress.

I encourage freedom of expression.  That does not condone expression detrimental to others. If you have something welcoming and kind to say, please by all means shout it from lofty heights.  That approach makes life pleasing and comfortable for all.

In case you’re wondering what this has to do with the price of anything here’s the punch line (figuratively not actually). Kindness goes a long way.  It smooths over even the roughest patches of life.  Nastiness creates unacceptable environments and one dose of nastiness lingers well beyond the initial damage to feelings.  We have an obligation to ourselves and to others to be good stewards of the emotions of others.  If you are like me, you don’t have time for the nonsense of others who choose to invite you to be a verbal punching bag.  Just because you may be bigger, stronger or more bitter doesn't grant license to take advantage of the smaller, weaker or gentle. It’s always amusing when the punching bag strikes back.  The reaction of the puncher is astonishment, stunned silence and maybe magnification of the initial attack.

But all is not hopeless.  Not everyone is aware of their undoing.  The following is not excusing these unsavory actions.  People are products of their environment.  When a person’s environment is negative, there is more likelihood such person will embrace that legacy.  It takes resolve and vigilance to overcome the environment.

In closing I offer the following: i) you have no obligation to sympathize – it may only encourage the wrong outcomes; ii) you can choose to empathize – that may enable the object of such empathy to improve their lot in life; iii) don’t lose yourself in the muck and mire of the unsavory.  It’s too easy to be drawn down; and iv) nourish your friends and family with positivity.  It doesn’t take much to see the glass half –full.  It’s really up to you whether you keep the levels high and protect your glass from being absconded.

I wish you welcoming and fruitful friendships. May every positive energy in the universe be channeled through your power cells.

Love and Hugs, Nikki Nicole DeCaro
https://www.facebook.com/nikki.nicole.50115

What do you call a day that’s unlike any other day?  A new day; one during which all the cares you experience melt away leaving a fresh and clean palate for you to savor the taste, touch, sound and olfactory.  Borderline fantasy, eh?  Fantasy can be your reality. No, don’t think so?  You dream, don't you?  Imagine things that may only be realized through the mind’s eye.  Now do you buy into my concept?  The ante is low and I’ll let you play one hand free.  It’s akin to drinking and dancing with one hand free and having the world so easily.  Thanks Steve Winwood for the song “Back in the High Life”; with Sweet Baby James singing backup.

Take that step.  Better yet, take it in sexy heels that accentuate your ankles and shapely calves.  Today is Pumps Day and we will celebrate come ice or high snow banks. 

Sometimes these posts are fluid, easy to write; cognitive anomalies that stream from mind to fingers.  Other times I wrestle with the words until they form cogent thoughts.

“Don’t be going too far with that term ‘cogent’.  You’re treading on thin ice with such presumptuous terminology!”

Okay I get the point; maybe I’m not always within the boundaries of the sensical.  I do toe the line and often step into nonsensical territory.  Doesn’t the word “sensical” sound like it could be the name of a sinister character from a noir novel?  Watch out you don't fall into that hole or the Sensical will get you!

Whew, I’m glad I don’t have to worry.  I know the Anti-Sensical, on a first name basis with the Non-Sensical.  I count myself fortunate.

Okay all seriousness aside; do you have a humorous thought that provokes unmitigated jocularity?  These thoughts keep me from pitching into the abyss of mundane and humdrum.  I’m not sure how you hum drum.  I can hum melodies but never was successful at humming drums.  I warned you that all seriousness was relegated to the bench for this portion of our program.

Do you at times feel like something is going on and you are not clued in?  I had one of those episodes today.  Any time I think I’ve decompiled something complicated I discover there is more to the equation than I thought.  It’s like someone knew something and shared it with everyone except me.  There I stand, eyes begging askance of those upon whom enlightenment has fallen.  Their knowing gazes tell me I’m not going to penetrate the fortress of their secret.

That’s fine with me (right and so is my hair – fine that is).  The less I have to cram into my pretty little head, the less likely I’ll become disoriented; as I am at the moment of this prosaic revelation.

In conclusion (“I thought you’d never get there!”) today is your day to be whatever and whomever you want.  Exhibit flare, bling, non-nuanced actions.  Be proud of who you are!

Love and hugs, Nikki Nicole DeCaro 

Thankful Tuesday - February on the way out

Another Thankful Tuesday is upon us.  What say you to raising your voice in praise for something or someone who has bestowed upon you a gift?  “So it’s about receiving a gift; that’s the angle?”

“There is no “angle” so why must you try to draw a conclusion?”

“I was just reading between the lines.”

“Well if you haven’t noticed there is only one line of text.  Pray tell, between which lines are you reading?”

Don't you adore when I have conversations with myself?  I’m thankful that such conversations can be entertaining.  You’re thinking about the implications of my asking and answering questions. Please ponder away.  I’m convinced it won’t help my cause.  Licensed professionals have attempted.  They are currently in treatment for their inability to determine how my personalities can be so vibrant as well as so controlling.  It was amusing to watch the therapist trying to determine which of my personalities was speaking at any given time.  I think he was flummoxed when I came to a session dressed as a superhero and I disclosed this was required otherwise my other personality would not agree to attend.  It got worse when the hammer of Thor came hurtling down onto the coffee table that divided the space between the sofa upon which I sat and the arm chair which the therapist inhabited.

Where will you go when you seek entertainment?  Will you discover it within or will you search without?

You know it’s there but you can’t put your finger on it.  I know the feeling.  I’ve tried to deal but dealing only works when you have a full deck.  Remember the earlier conversation between my two personalities?  Do you think that someone is hiding the aces?

All joking aside, try to enjoy every day as if it was your last.  Because you never know.  The song by Tim McGraw about his father – Live Like You Were Dying, may be a tad extreme but there are lessons to learn.  Love like your heart depends on it. Let your internal rhythm spark uncontrollable movement – I think it’s called ‘dancing’.  That’s an awesome way to be thankful.

Take the opportunity.  Once it’s gone there’s no retrieving it.  Why regret?  Is it worth the effort?  Eat a donut, enjoy another cup of coffee, take a second serving of your loved one’s meal s/he prepared for you.  That’s another way to be thankful – show gratitude and satisfy a need.  Isn’t life wonderful?

Have the time of your life.

Love and hugs, Nikki Nicole DeCaro