Friday last found me sitting across
the table at a nearby upscale restaurant from a friend of 25 years. He had reached out to me since we hadn’t
talked for a few months. When I saw his
invitation to lunch the calm of standing outside as snowflakes fell softly
coating the ground with a blanket of white settled over me. I’m going to tell him; the time is
right. Nikki has momentum and will not
be refused. I’ve learned that very
quickly. And following my heart I
decided that every number, not just “seven” is my lucky number.
Settling into the chair I looked
across the table and we smiled. I could
feel genuine warmth. After catching up
on life and how quickly the children have grown we talked business. Conversation finally made its way around to
personal situations.
He explained he has a nephew who is
gay and he was asked to explain the situation to the grandfather since his
brother, the child’s father, didn’t have the emotional strength to talk through
the matter with his father. The way my
friend explained how he gently encouraged his father, the boy’s grandfather
that the boy was a gift and he should be accepted and loved comforted me.
“How’s that for being open
minded?” He asked and smiled.
“That works for me. I admire how you handled it. So about me, I’m transgender and
transitioning. I will be full time woman
in the spring of 2016.” I watched his
body language as I disclosed. He smiled
and processed.
“What do you think?” I asked.
“What’s there to think about? There’s nothing wrong with it. I’m happy for you.” I relaxed and placed disclosure number seven
in the win column. I showed him pictures
and he said, “I’m glad you showed me the pictures since the next time I see you
again you will be Nikki. I would not
recognize you!” He smiled. I gave him my new email address as he had
only an old account that I had closed.
He handed me his mobile phone and asked me to enter the
information. When I handed the device to
him he said, “I’ll change the name so that Nikki comes up when you call.”
After lunch ended we walked out of
the restaurant together and embraced as true friends do. He told me it was my turn to contact him
about getting together and to not let so much time pass before we do this
again. I promised.
Love and hugs, Nikki DiCaro
I add the following to ensure that
I am not Polly Anna. I am pushing the
limits but doing so deliberately and slowly.
Life is fragile... life can also be
cruel. There's no reason to be blinded by overly optimistic expectations. The
other side of the fulcrum is that guarded optimism should not be overshadowed
by failure to find your calling. I am saddened by every attack, every death,
every negative statement. We must help each other and not be afraid to express
who we are. If we do, we permit others to control our destiny. Unfortunately
progress does have fall out. Harken back
to the settlers of the new frontier of the western United States – no progress
without risk. I'll spare you all the fancy clichés. Be vigilant, be diligent
but above all be yourself.
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