Are We Competing?

I don’t understand why some in our community need to feel they are competing with others in the community.  Why must some in the community feel the only way to get ahead is to put others down? 

Try this phrase on for size: “We are all different in many, mostly wonderful, ways. I’m better than nobody and nobody is better than me.”  I live by these words.  There is nothing useful, enduring and endearing to be gained by making others feel small, gaining at the expense of others.

I had a troubling conversation with a person I thought was a friend; someone who identified as a transgender.  I provided, on many occasions, precious time out of my horrendously busy schedule to talk when it was convenient for this person.  I’m not here to tell you how busy or how important I am.  I’m here to tell you how disappointing it is to be used, to be compared and to be told by this person that there was something this person (I refuse to guesstimate on the appropriate pronoun to use) had over me.

Really?  Like we were competing.  This person stated “I’m falling behind the competition but need to catch up.  But I have one thing going for me, I have [purposely left blank] more than you.”  After that statement I turned off my hearing until I was able to tamp down the temper flare.

Competition, seriously?  Competition, really?  I don't compare and contrast beyond trying to find ways to improve how I fit into society as a woman.  Different transgenders are on different points on the continuum.  That’s their business.  Encouragement is my mantra.  I will support and encourage when the opportunity presents itself.  I refuse to engage in conversation that is destructive.  If you attack one of my friends; then the gloves come off.  I have no compunction about stepping into the breach when necessary.  That’s the way I roll.

So, back to this miscreant and the immature comment.  My perception of this person has changed significantly.  The more I think about the comment the more I am disappointed that I was misled, I fell for a façade that fooled me.

When people are relegated to getting ahead at the expense of others – putting others down – they need to get a life.  Comparisons are for wannabes. Real people are confident and self-assured and kind to others.

Be free to be yourself and build up others and they will return the favor.

Love and hug, Nikki DiCaro