Wednesday Levity

The middle of the week delivers levity intersecting with seriousness.  “Why?” You ask?  Lest we forget, today is the day of the practical joker.  What is a ‘practical’ joke?  Lack of clarity on this term will lead me to reference Mr. Webster’s progeny.    Practical means: actual, active or applied.  That makes sense (I was going to say in‘every respect’ but that presumes there are no respects in which – or is it through which – this would not make sense).

What good is the joke if it’s not actual and applied?  We’d have a virtual or imaginary laugh.  That’s not as much fun as humor at the expense – in a loving way – of another.

Don’t like the term “at the expense”?  Are you one who takes himself or herself seriously?  You may “serious” yourself from interactions that could serve to lighten your spirit.  Don’t do it.  If you do, don’t say I didn’t, say I didn’t warn you (sound like Taylor Swift?)

I know, everything can’t be humorous and frivolous.  Some things must be considered weighty.  Where to draw the line?  Let’s give it a try.

Pick two words; any two words and try putting them together like this “wondersome” is the combination of wonderful and awesome.  Same combination, different result: “aweful”.  Can you come up with an interchangeable combination that sounds good in one iteration and not so good in another?

I’ve used the terms “Femmtabulous”, “Femmilicous”.  Love them both, use them often.

Let’s try another angle.  The word “specimen”, is the singular “speciman”?  Can it be gender specific such as “speciwoman” or “speciwomen”?  How about “acuman” and “acumen”?   We have accuweather so why not “accuwoman” and “accuwomen”?  Women (especially women weather forecasters) are always right so we should call ourselves “Accuwomen”.

Yet another concept is what if you come before the person who came before you.  Did you come “bethree”?  If you are worse than asinine are you asiten, asitwenty?  You’re wondering why I’ve taken this line of questioning.  I’m decoupling (no not as in “decouple sitting in front of me is talking”) from the straight and narrow. “Honey the only thing straight about you is the jacket you should be wearing.”  I dislike when my other personality insists on entering the conversation uninvited.

Let’s continue. Find something funny that had you in stitches.  I can think of a few occurrences that still cause me to excuse myself while I laugh off the memory.

Life is full of wonderful opportunities to take 120 grit sandpaper to that sharp edge.  Apply liberally, smile, relax the shoulders and absorb what you’ve been missing by being so black and white, so straight-laced, so button down.  Tension and his cousin stress are killers.  Rage against nothing.  Apply targeted and focused energy to whatever is your passion. Try doing it without making yourself nuts.  “In your case honey it’s too late.”  I know but it’s not too late for my readers to take heed, ride the steed, forget about greed, be your own breed.  You can blossom, don’t play possum.  Life’s too short, to live in your fort. Come out to the light, fly a big kite.

Have a wonderful First Day of April.

Love and hugs, Nikki DeCaro

Good morning friends and neighbors both physical and cyber.  We have arrived at the last Tuesday in March.  We leave behind the winter and take with us fond memories into the month of showers.  Shower the people you love with love, show them the way that you feel.  Yes, quoting James Taylor – always appropriate – to generate the most likely result of the feelings that encourage us to engage.

Engagement; sometimes a term of offensive (versus defensive) activity.  Other times, and more relevant, the act of connecting with one or more persons.  We engage in conversation, in discussion, in laughter, in friendship, in acquaintanceship, in debates… you get the idea.

I belabor for a reason, to make a point that is sometimes so obvious we miss it.  I’m speaking from personal experience.  Life moves quickly – it seems the information age has instilled urgency that a score of years ago was virtually nascent.  It’s easy to let something slip by, take someone for granted, presume they will always be there.  That is until they are not.  Ever hoist regret upon your shoulders for opportunity squandered?  If you have, we’re in the same boat.

I’m no one to say “I told you so” but I will liberally sprinkle my life with “I told me so” until I don’t make that mistake so often.  I didn’t say won’t make that mistake again because to err is human (yep another borrowed phrase).

This leads me to the next portion of our program, brought to us by the recent foolishness wrought by the governor of Indiana – that insensitive, narrow-minded state executive who chose to adopt a program of discrimination towards anyone who doesn’t fit into his razor thin interpretation of freedom from persecution as promulgated by the United States Constitution.  This is one reason why engagement is critical to understanding.  If you never engage broadly you never enable understanding.  I’m not advocating that you need to engage to awaken common sense in others.  But some people – Indiana governor this is an indictment if you aren’t realizing it – aren’t capable of employing common sense nor are they capable of realizing the folly of their ways until something which they oppose strikes close to home.  Oh then watch the wheels of understanding begin to jettison the rust of inactivity and turn quickly to embrace that which heretofore was dismissed as unacceptable.

Engage with society; open your mind to the possibilities of living.  Harbor deep seeded attitudes of protectionism when such response becomes inevitable to ward off those for whom humanistic and logical thought processes seem to have become elusive.

By the action of engagement on the part of the enlightened, we not only further our cause, we illuminate the darkness for the close-minded showing them there is depth and breadth beyond the realm of their narrow ability to comprehend.  Yes it’s a tough slog but one we must undertake if we are to tear down the walls of prejudice.  We’ve come too far to disengage.  We’ll overcome with love and understanding, education and illumination.  Factualize our community; constructively criticize as appropriate.  But don’t quit, don’t surrender because that is an admission that the wrong are right. 

Show them the way that you feel… things are gonna be much better if we only will.

Love and hugs, Nikki DeCaro

Everyday is a new day.  We established that premise in prior posts.  Regardless of the trajectory of life, you get a fresh start daily.  I know, life can be drudgery, mundane, passé and so yesterday.  Right, let’s put an end to the dour portion of our program brought to us by “cloudy days” when the dark cloud keeps the silver lining hidden.

Why do we have to approach daily routine as, well, routine?  This is your life.  I think it’s your life.  It’s your life, right?  You may not be able to alter the direction of traffic or the flow of the tide but you can influence the direction of your life.  Free will – no not an offering of legal service for estate planning purposes – is alive and well.  You've got to feed and nurture it.  Ignore it and those emotional muscles will atrophy.  Ignoring should not be a valid choice in this equation.

Step up and make a difference.  The silver lining exists.  Some clouds are thicker than others.  Keep moving, progressing and getting beyond.  Stagnation is the province of the resigned, those who have surrendered.

“Your terminology makes life sound like a fight.  I’m not much of a fighter.”

Sure, sometimes there are struggles, skirmishes and you may emerge with a few emotional nicks and cuts.  Did you expect life to be peaches and cream or strawberries and ice cream? You know better.  Fantasies aren’t bad but their place is not necessarily in the measurement of reality. 

Back to cloudy skies - the barometer of your life probably resembles the barometer that assists weather people to predict.  Low barometric pressure indicates precipitation or other atmospheric disturbances.  High barometric pressure indicates lack of precipitation – potentially sunny skies.  Get my drift?

Now, back to free will.  You choose every day to participate or observe.  Being an observer probably means others are exerting undue influence over your day. Is that how you want to live?  I didn’t think so.

You may be asking if your scribe has been releasing helium into her immediate vicinity.  Being upbeat, positive, forward or ahead of the curve doesn’t take much more energy than standing aside and allowing the influences that affect you to march past.  You’ve got to decide to begin.  I’m not promising smooth, effortless experiences; not in the early stages.  As you exert more influence I promise things will get easier.  Desire to be involved will come naturally, with less effort and will yield progressively more results.

Join the fray, feel energy coursing through you.  Awaken from your slumber, be strong, be bold, be active and be successful.  Build your life’s road one course of bricks at a time, paving the way, the journey sometimes smoother and most times on firmer footing.

Have a wonderful day.

Love and hugs, Nikki DeCaro   

The Crossroads

Standing at the crossroads

Looking north, facing south

The west wind’s blowing

I’m not sure where I’m going

I see you coming from the east

You look familiar, have our paths crossed?

Your eyes are soft, as if you say

Yes we have just yesterday

I think of a greeting but worry holds it at bay

The more I try to speak the stronger dismay

When the words finally come

I see your eyes encourage me

I’m not sure why we’re here

Again something I fear

I’m not sure why it is that I can’t speak my mind

The words there a moment ago are now hard to find

Standing at the crossroads

Looking north facing south

The west wind’s blowing

Not sure where I’m going

I feel something warm

It’s your hand in mine

You turn me around

The wind suddenly dies down

It’s as if there is magic in your touch

I’m so glad you’re near me I missed you so much

The friend that you are

The person I am

Gives me reason to want you

Gives me reason to need you

I’m so glad I am with you

We’ve both traveled so far

Standing at the crossroads

Looking north facing west

The sunshine behind us

I now know where I’m going

I know where I’m going

Finally Friday – do you feel that way?  “We’ve gotten this far not by luck, but by not turning back.”  Mary Chapin Carpenter’s prescient words are relevant for many reasons. Bards have a way of taking feelings and converting them into meaning around which we can coalesce; varying from happy to sad and many points between.  I get it.  Heart rending is sometimes the best way to wring out the pain of less than celebratory life events.  Rending should not be the norm.  If it is, seek help.  Balance in life is critical, especially emotional balance.

Holding on can be taxing – the climb sheer [fill in the blank].  We’ve addressed these topics in previous missives.  They seem to regurgitate as if we yearned to taste and feel them. My goal is to enable you to think beyond the conventional.  We are unconventional – I believe we’ve reached agreement on that point.  If we’re unconventional then we have no obligation to conform, to accept the tried and tired. Interesting how those two words contain the same letters arranged slightly different.

“Why didn’t you reference the tried and true?” Because truth is sometimes relative or conditional.  Truth derives from circumstances and facts.  When circumstances or facts change, then the “true” part of “tried” fails.

“What’s the take away from this lesson dear writer?”

Facts are particular to your situation; right?  What works for one may not work for others.  One size fits most is operative.  Gather information and process.  Information gathering should be life long. Don’t hold decisions hostage to the need for information perfection but don’t be hasty.  Hone the skill of determining the inflection point for distilling information into decision.  I know, some decisions lead to permanent change, others are adjustable.  Decision-making can be scary, unnerving.  “What happens if I’m wrong?”  Unnerving fear of failure can freeze even the heartiest of souls. This part of life isn’t easy – particularly when we are staring down the barrel of physical change; if that’s your objective. Waiting is good sometimes and not healthy other times – especially when waiting generates consternation and other unhealthy results.  There’s no “easy button” for this.  I’ve been on this road for almost three years and finally a few things are coming into focus. I can’t see very far ahead but I can see more today than I could only three months ago.  I label that progress even if I’m a slow learner or lucky.  Precisely why the support network needs to be strong, healthy and understanding.  My support network has saved me more than once.

There’s that concept again – the flip side of ‘healthy’.  The see-saw, yin and yang, overexpression or subjugation are all potentially debilitating.  It’s our goal to make all of this habilitating or rehabilitating.  Be open to the positivity of the universe otherwise it will bounce off you like a rubber ball against a concrete wall.

I know – this one is difficult to understand.  I’ve written it and I’m not sanguine over the content.  Let me know if you find a kernel of usefulness in this offering.

Have a wonderful weekend – may your burden be light and your life rewarding.

Love and hugs, Nikki DeCaro