Catching a Wave

Wednesday approaches stealthily under the cover of Monday’s and Tuesday’s vapor trail; the week’s start distracting and consuming energy like a hungry high performance engine crazing octane. I saw Wednesday coming from two days ago even though its two cohorts attempted to keep me occupied and blanketed in heavy fog. 

Here we are at the crest of the week, watching the wave forming a curl.  Tanned and silky smooth in suggestive two-piece coral colored bathing suit caressing curvy hips, low cut cups cuddling perky breasts that are pressed into the eight-foot combination of wood and acrylic waxed and smooth, arms paddling to encourage the board to the edge of the crescendo of exhilaration.

The thrill of catching the big kahuna, the ultimate ride we force ourselves into a crouch as the tip of the board extends beyond the edge of the building wave of energy. Feeling the funnel of saline infused H₂O surrounding us we realize the potential to ride or wipe out equally balanced, pumping adrenaline at break neck speed.  

As the fins bite the water we cut precipitously through the curl, green-blue ocean reminds us to stay low and centered. The ride seems timeless and endless.

Just as it feels like the canopy will collapse the curl opens and we emerge from the crouch, the rush of the tide slows and our speed decreases as we approach the beach.

Exhaling we smile, brushing back soaked hair as electricity courses through us, another accomplishment solidly in the bank of memories.

I’m not a surfer, don’t have the coordination, but I thought the analogy would be fitting at least this one time. If your heart rate climbed even one beat above sedentary then the delivery was worth the effort.

Now it’s up to you, grab your favorite mode of transportation, settle in and enjoy the ride.  Let your mind wander and your pulse race. Life is meant to be lived girlfriend.  What’s holding you back?

Nobody can make you do what you don’t want to do.  But I can coax and cajole and maybe I’ll strike that nerve and your body will swing into motion.  The rest is either history or a lost opportunity! What say you girlfriend?

Love and hugs, Nikki DiCaro

Unconventionalism and Opportunities

Tuesday in the land of unconventionalism and there’s still an unsettled weather pattern deliveringing spring-like mornings but warmth can’t be dissuaded from taking center stage.  This is another opportunistic play on words, warmth is not only a reference to the weather. It is also a reference to the feeling of acceptance and clarity of purpose we feel as our lives unfold on the stage that is our life.

Are you experiencing the feeling – are you feeling it?  You can receive it if you are open to it. Are you open to receiving it, allowing it to flow into your life with richness?  Or are you guarded and protective?  Sure, protecting ourselves, feelings and all, is important.  But don’t forget to unlock the door when friends come knocking.  We come knocking at different times so our approach is not always predictable.

Be cautious but not so cautious that you miss the opportunity to entertain happiness and contentment.  Can you do that?  Can you open the door just enough to discover? Sure you can.  Slip the safety chain into place.  You can always remove it.  Peek through the sliver of opening.  Recognize the face?  Sure you do.  It’s me and as I smile you feel the warmth wash over you.  You fumble with the safety chain chastising yourself for being overly cautious.  You call for me to wait as you mouth a word of frustration.  Finally the chain yields and as you swing the door open we share a hug before you invite me in.

Does that sound familiar? This is the warmth of friendship, expected or otherwise. The door is the door to your inner being and you open up to your friends anxiously, happy to have the company.

Advance towards the warmth of friendship and no matter how unpredictable the weather, there will always be one constant in your life.

Have an unconventionally wonderful Tuesday.

Love and hugs, Nikki DiCaro

Truly a Day to Remember

The sun glistens a long and wavy tail across the glassy smooth reservoir.  Pointing south the car glides over the ribbon of blacktop on a lazy Sunday afternoon.  My mind harkens back to Friday around noon as I entered Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital in New Brunswick, New Jersey.

After leaving the car with the concierge at the main entrance to the hospital, feeling more than a little self-conscious, I passed through the wide revolving door and stepped across the threshold into the main lobby.  I felt like the eyes of the world were upon me.  Approaching the information desk a pleasant woman asked if she could help.  I told her I was here for the PROUD event and she directed me to the administration building and told me I could have my parking stub validated.  The woman working the information desk was either having a bad day or disapproved of something that was transpiring.  Her expression was one devoid of pleasantness.  Dismissing that distraction I wandered down the hallway towards the event I stopping at the Women’s restroom to check my makeup.  Proceeding towards the event gathering I heard a familiar voice and saw the traffic jam at the entrance to the event. 

This was the RWJ PROUD Business Resource Group (BRG) inaugural LGBT awareness event at Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital!  An event that attracted a standing room only crowd and executives of the hospital.

The event was slated to run for an hour. Two hours later, Kimberly Brennan, co-chairwoman of the event was finally given the opportunity to speak.  I’ve watched Kimmy as she wended her way through the maze of red tape and obstacles on the way to the launch.  Nothing short of herculean effort pulled off one of the most successful events of the LGBT community.

I was so moved by the speaker and Kimmy’s beautiful closing that I almost rained on the parade.  How I held back the storm is beyond me.  Maybe the makeup gods were smiling upon me.  Kimmy’s words and her moving a capella song brought most of the room to tears, including the CEO of the hospital system!  How fitting to see support from the highest echelons of the organization for an event that trumpeted their commitment to Promoting Respect, Outreach, Understanding and Dignity for all.

I was proud (pun intended) to have been invited to the event and to have made a small contribution to the program.  Afterwards, speaking with several of our sisters I was gratified to see how they have been progressing in their transition.  Glowing smiles, twinkling eyes and the song of promise on their lips was a perfect closing to the event.

We are truly blessed to have allies in the RWJ family and I am proud to say I am a friend of co-chairwoman Kimberly Brennan!  Kimmy rocks the house and anything else she endeavors to take on.  You go girl!!!!

Love and hugs, Nikki 

Warm, Cool and Cold

How Cool is Cold?

I wonder about the most obscure things; well maybe not the “most” obscure things.  I haven’t been everywhere in the world so I can’t attest to knowing the “most” of anything.  Unlike those people who make ribs and hamburgers and other delicacies who can claim “world’s greatest” or “most delicious”.  That’s an expensive certification process – traveling around the world, sampling everything in and around their area of focus and expertise and then delivering unbiased claims and unadulterated professions of quality.  I would buy something because the advertisement professed something to be “best in the world” wouldn’t you?

So you’re saying you’re discerning? If you’re not honey there’s an education coming your way and it has the potential to become painfully obvious that you need to learn quickly.  In our zone of travel we need to be particularly careful about what we believe and what we dismiss as extensive blather and nonsense designed to relieve us of financial gain.  We also need to realize that although we may be ‘technically’ protected by the justice system, laws were not always championed to do anything more than mollify the squeaky wheel.  Laws get politicians reelected.  Sometimes laws are good and other times laws are so much window dressing. Don’t put all your coinage on number 36 every time the roulette wheel is spun.

There are two (or more) sides to every discussion. How well do you know the person in whom you are placing trust?  Does it sometimes feel like the cliff is over the next undulation of the field?  Go slow sisters, go slow.  Yes I repeated it and I’ll repeat it again.  Modeling your actions after George Custer might prove disastrous. Follow blindly; I think not.  Grab a girlfriend by the hand and pull her aside if you see a precipice looming in the distance.

Obligation, am I creating an obligation for you?  Absolutely my friends, friendship carries responsibilities.  If you translate responsibility to mean obligation are you serving anyone’s interest?  Yep, controversy is somewhere in my development.  So I evaluate as often as my pretty blonde (wait I was a brunette last week) head can handle.

A corollary arrives on the wings of vocal chords. I’ve been told something is ‘cool’.  Then I hear something is ‘really cool’.  Does that mean things are cool squared?  I’ve heard something labeled “super cool.”  Does that mean you measure the absolute temperature utilizing the Kelvin scale? What happens when things are really, really cool?  Does that mean things are cold; frozen?  We’ve used the phrase “that’s cold”.  If we say you’re really, really cool that means you’re cold?

I worry that all this time I’ve been insulting rather than flattering with my words.

Could I be transposing something upon which I am transfixed?  Additionally I get hung up on the use of adverbs.  You know all those really adverbially speaking people.  Actually some people speak in proverbs.  Maybe it’s existentialism. Surely we could probably and in all likelihood (is there a partial likelihood?) get to the actual point more quickly.  So literally speaking, why not get to the point without having to leave things to interpretation? 

Interpretation is dangerous in the wrong hands.  Call someone ‘special’ and you could mean anything from gifted and wonderful to needing remedial education.  Isn’t it nuts?

I am as guilty as the next person.  I label someone ‘the best’.  Does that mean I can’t label someone else ‘the best’?  Can there be more than one ‘best’ at something?  I guess it’s like being the #1 Fan.  How many #1 fans of the same team can there be?  I guess it’s problematic to have consecutively numbered #[blank] Fan license plates, shirts, sponge hands, etc.

Get where I’m going?  Or are you running in the opposite direction?

Yes, I ramble.  Utilize your discernment.  Decide which of what I spout means anything to you.  Do the same with others.  Hold closely the words that inspire.  And draw closer to those with whom you have developed friendship.  We all need friends; cool friends.  Maybe we have really cool friends.  They will never be cold to you if they are genuine and loyal.  Only you know the answer.  Don’t sell your friendship blindly.  It is one of the few things nobody can take from you without your permission.

Love and hugs, Nikki DiCaro

A New Twist on the Game Candyland

When you were younger, did you play board games or were you bored by games?  Do you remember the game Candyland?  Do you remember anything about your childhood? Was it fun and frustrating sometimes simultaneously; playing games, not your childhood.  Do you play board games now or are you still bored by games?  Have you ever played the game TransGenderLand?  Never heard of it? Oh hunnies you haven’t lived until you’ve played.

This is a female adults only game. It comes in a red satin box with matching gold hinges and clasp and a black faux cheetah fur handle. The board is rectangular and folds in half.  Unfold the board and you see a two dimensional landscape of pastel colors and hot pinks, electric blues, fuchsias and vibrant tangerine.  There are pictures of your favorite places including malls and thrift stores.

So let’s play. First select a game piece.  The game pieces are all stiletto heels. Pick a color, red, white, black, blue, silver or gold.

There is a pair of pink dice. The object of the game is to make it through a year as a TGirl and visit all of the important venues in the TGirl domain of the east coast.  Yes there is a Midwest and west coast version of the game.  You’ll have to check with the manufacturer for availability.

Roll the dice and move your game piece.  Each square on the board varies from pink to fuchsia, to electric blue to silver and gold.  Let’s check out the game board as the pathway winds around and through different scenes.  There’s Raven, Angela’s Laptop, Renaissance, Triangles, Rehoboth Beach, Moose Lounge and of course towns like New Hope.

Be careful as you roll and move around the board.  Land on one of the squares that says, “heavy eye shadow” move back three spaces. “Runner in your pantyhose” lose a turn. “Helping another TGirl with her makeup and outfit, move ahead five spaces.

“Help a girlfriend through a personal crisis, climb the ladder to the next level.

There are ATM machines on various squares.  Pass them and you receive cash.  I know, there was no cash in the Candyland game.  That was for kiddies, we’re grown women and what would women do without money?

As you move around the board only one stiletto can reside on a space at any given time.  If you roll the dice and your move puts you on the same square as another game piece you go back one space as we never jump ahead of one of our girlfriends; except the shopping squares since it is always more fun to shop with girlfriends.

If you land on Raven you must rent a room, choose a player and dance together for thirty seconds.  If you land at Angela’s you pay the cover charge and pose for pictures, Renaissance you pay the membership dues, Triangles or Moose Lounge you give each player money to buy a drink. If you land on a shopping mall you buy a wardrobe – each square has the dollar amount you must surrender.  Land on a thrift store and you get to roll again because you’re such a smart shopper.

Sound like fun? 

Oh I should tell you the dress code for the game.  Short skirt, nothing below mid-thigh, minimum four-inch heels, excluding the height of the platform, full makeup and hair to match.  Fingers and toes must be painted the color of your game piece.  Well what’s fair is fair.  After all it’s a game for girls, about girls! No worries, the game comes with six bottles of nail polish, one to match each of the game pieces and you can buy refills from the manufacturer.

The first stiletto to make it to the end, the one-year anniversary wins.  The game is so much fun you might never want it to end!  Ready?  Let’s play!

Love and hugs, Nikki DiCaro 

Analysis and Reactivity

Ever notice how this well ordered world isn’t always so well or so ordered?  Isn’t that the surrogate for unconventionality?  That’s a favorite word.  It enables describing, wonder of wonders, changeability.  Things need to change.  Not for the sake of change, but for the sake of moving the world forward.

The only thing that is constant is change.  Regardless, change engenders discomfort, anxiety, trepidation.  Change also brings improvement.  Change does not require radical physical, mental or emotional surgery.  Change can be physical as well as chemical (remember those terms from science class?).  Some change is form over substance.  Other change is the essence of a person, place or thing.  Change can also be a state of mind.

Let’s change the subject.  The weather has been changeable.  Global warming has morphed into climate change.  See how easy that was?  Talk about a branding guffaw.  That’s one marketing company I’d never hire.  You’ve got to know the history before you can attempt to address the future.  Find the pitfalls, the traps – as our elected officials say when they are proposing legislation – and attempt to either avoid them or fill them with your solution.

Weather, climate and related items are based upon predictive modeling with a healthy dose of regression analysis.

“What’s that have to do with the price of nylons?”

We perform predictive modeling in our lives.  We may not use sophisticated computer programs or mammoth artificial intelligence but we do analyze.  Sometimes evaluation happens in a split second.  Other times we ponder, contemplate, consider and decide… we don’t.

Our ability to analyze is remarkable.  We may not pay it any mind because we train ourselves to react depending upon the circumstances.  Ever face a challenge that required split second reaction?  More times than you can count!  Since we perform these actions every day we take them for granted.

We are amazing creatures in all our complexities, faults and shortcomings.  Yes, I know, some consider themselves perfect.  That’s a character flaw; an imperfection.  See, I can be right sometimes.  I’m usually right, except when I’m left.  But I’m never left behind.  Sometimes I choose to lead and other times I choose to follow.  The decision is based upon the facts, the data, the circumstances.

Decide to have an awesome day and you shall be rewarded.

Love and hugs, Nikki DiCaro