Downtimes and Flourishing

“I’ll be there waiting for you. I’ll be there through the rise and fall.”  Thank you Darius Rucker.  I love the opportunity to offer a hand, an arm or a shoulder.  Face it, no matter how strong we are there will be times when we need help and support.  I receive it unsolicited from my friends.  Let’s be real.  Given the geographic diversity of our community, physical presence isn’t always possible or practical.  I find friendship, or more appropriately friendship finds me, in far away places.  I’m certain you have words of wonder about bonds that have formed across the miles.

Feeling nostalgic?  Join the club.  I think my membership card says “Charter Member”.  Some friends can light up a room.  Quietly confident their sunshine chases the clouds.  Am I right?  The analogy of pots and lids comes to mind.

I find solace, safety, comfort and joy in friendships.  Days and nights aren’t long enough to linger with all friends.  Sometimes I wish there was more than one of me (God help us!!!) so that I can share time with all my friends when we are together.  Maybe I’m making too much of the “physical”.  A smile, a brief touch and maybe a hug, might be all that’s needed to add another strand of connectivity.

The more incorporated I become in the LGBT community the more I realize I’m living tweeny. 

“Huh?  Did you take your meds today Nikki?”

I did, maybe you should try my prescription.  [Don’t you hate intrusions?]

My version of tweening involves living for the weekends, counting the weekdays anticipating another unfettered period of blissful femininity.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not existing to subsist.  I’m flourishing in my way.  I love the opportunity to add my feminine colors to the palette of the male shell I wear to maintain the status quo at work.

Yes, I’m in artistic mode.  Sometimes my transmission gets hung up in second gear and I maintain a certain thought path.  There are probably much better analogies, much more meaningful corollaries.  These work for me.  If you have any you would like to offer, I’m all ears.  Well, not really.  That wouldn’t be pretty.  But my hearing might improve.

Have a meaningfully fulfilling day.

Love and hugs, Nikki DiCaro