Summer oh sweet summer. How I wish I could wear a sleeveless shift
dress and sandals to work. It’s too hot
to be traipsing around in male business mode.
Summer is made for women and the female wardrobe. Bare legs feeling the caress of gentle warm
breezes, painted toes peeking playfully from the front of my wedge sandals.
Out with friends and en femme all
weekend was fulfilling, gratifying and rewarding. Making new friends and solidifying existing
friendships always lifts my spirits.
Thank you my sister friends for supporting me. I love you more than words can convey.
For two weeks consecutively I was
presented with a dilemma that my cranial capacity struggled to absorb. The sponge of gray matter may need a tune
up. Please read this carefully and heed
these thoughts that come not from me but through me from others who are closer
to matters of importance than your scribe.
Presentation makes or breaks
people, places and things. How we
present not only impacts us, it impacts the group we represent and reflects
directly on venues we frequent, their proprietors, their patrons and ultimately
on our acceptance.
Yes I know all about First
Amendment rights, freedom of expression and all those platitudes the founders
chose to craft into the Constitution of The United States. Factions believe they have the absolute right
to express in any way they feel, regardless of the appropriateness of such form
of expression.
Can we be oblivious to the
sensitivities of others in our pursuit of free speech? We’ve discussed battles and wars in the
context of being technically right but realistically wrong. You can’t think putting people at risk by
making a spectacle of yourself is cool or welcome.
Family venues are expected to be
wholesome and safe for children of all ages.
Would you bring your child(ren) to locales where clientele dress
questionably? Think of Disney World with
ladies of the evening strolling through the streets giving new meaning to the
term “Magic Kingdom”. You, your family and your children would find that
repulsive, right? Respectability may be in the eye of the beholder. We must heed such sensitivities even if it
means we lengthen our skirt to acceptable heights (not mini-skirt level) and
our neckline (above “open for business” plunge) to leave some things to the
imagination.
Our money is green like everyone
else’s. Our dollars become more welcome
when we blend in with the surroundings, not stand out or call attention to
ourselves in negative ways. I blanche,
and so should you, when proprietors tell us we are not dressed appropriately
for their establishment. One such
proprietor was particularly and rightfully incensed by scantily clad ladies who
failed to read the clientele. There’s a
time and a place to dress suggestively.
That place is not in public where families gather. At least one proprietor have been burned by
callous and thoughtless expression of First Amendment rights. That is one business owner too many. Her dinner traffic is down precipitously and
she is now struggling to make ends meet.
Do unto others as you would have
them do unto you. Yes I’m quoting
scripture because it’s appropriate. If
you were the shop owner and your livelihood was being jeopardized by improper actions,
would you be sanguine and gladly sacrifice your financial security for a few
strays who refused to think lucidly about how to present themselves in your
establishment?
When a shop owner loses customers
because of something untoward we do, that owner will be less welcoming and
maybe hostile. Oh and in case this is
lost on you, their clientele will be tilted against us as well. Still feeling self-righteous?
We cannot afford to upset the
delicate balance because once tipped away from us there may be no amount of
effort to encourage the scale to tip towards us.
I respect shop owners who welcome
us. I will jealously protect those
relationships and will screen my invitees.
If a member of our community invites you to partake with them at a venue
they have cultivated and this member requests your dress and actions to fall within
her defined limits, you need to heed her request or beg off. She’s asking for all the right reasons. You may not agree but if you value her friendship
you will comply. We need to wholeheartedly agree that we will function as a
monolithic unit in these matters otherwise we will not make progress towards
universal acceptance.
There’s no negotiation or debate
about this. Yes I’m adamant. I can be petulant about what I believe to be
right. I hope you will be part of the
continuing solution. It means the world
to everyone in our community and it also legitimizes our claims for parity.
Let me know if you have thoughts
you would like to discuss.
Love and hugs, Nikki DeCaro
No comments:
Post a Comment