Doing It Right - Part 1

Doing it right is so important.  Yes, I’ve touched on this theme more times than you care to read but the words, the admonition, the advice, etc. bears repeating as many times as it takes to have the point become operationalized.

Nobody can tell ya, there’s only one song worth singing.  In other words, make your own kind of music (one of my all time favorites by Cass Elliott).  That’s right, own the music, the lyrics, the rhythm and the rhyme.  Own the message and believe it.  You can be invested or you can go through the motions.

There are many data points to consider.  My data points include an “N” of at least one hundred.  I did not perform statistical calculations on the powering nor the predictive translational value of that number of data points.  But I do know several things I believe to be irrefutable truths.  They follow.

Once again owning your decisions.  If you don’t own them nobody will take you seriously.  You’ve got to not only mouth the convictions, you’ve got to operationalize them.  “What does that mean?”  It means you need to show people you believe in yourself in constructive ways.  Beliefs can be unconventional, non-conforming and orphan (in medical parlance) but they have got to have substance, weight and power.  That does not mean you have to shape them into a cudgel and beat everyone and everything on your path to a pulp.

Wars generate many casualties and the victor’s celebration is short.  Then reparations begin. You can’t take a scorched earth approach to your beliefs.  Emotional napalm is destructive.  And insisting something is right may work for you but let me tell you edicts and proclamations aren’t worth the parchment upon which they are written if there is no consensus.

Translation – if you lead with your chin you’re going to get hit and hit hard.  Even if you believe your emotional jaw to be rock solid, daring people to hit you to make a point is like driving through a wall instead of navigating safely around it.  Sure, the obstacle will not longer stand in your path but the damage to your personal property will be costly.  The same is true with emotional property.  You’ve heard me lecture (maybe lecture is too strong a word) on the topic.

Helping people to understand, taking them by the hand and helping them up the little rise in your landscape (before it rises into a mountain) is inviting and potentially healing.  I understand that you want things to happen on your timeline.  Well honey, wake up and smell the pungent and acrid odor.  That’s the smell of a bridge being burned.  There’s a lengthy but emotionally educational undercurrent to a classic movie, The Bridge on the River Kwai.  Alec Guinness teaches a lesson to their captors and also educates his charges in how to gain respect while giving respect.  I know, he suffers a near breakdown when he realizes he may be helping his captors beyond what he intended.  But that is a side thought to consider – know why you are doing something before you undertake.  And yeah, understand that you also own the consequences; so be prepared.

Life is filled with trap doors.  The object is to find the trip wire so you don’t end up in a black hole.  More to come in tomorrow’s post.

Have a thought-provoking day.

Love and hugs, Nikki DiCaro

** Dedicated to my heart sisters.  You know who you are.  I send emotional hugs and prayerful thanks every day for your unfailing and unconditional love and support. **