Things You Learn in The Heat of Battle

The things you learn in the heat of battle.  No, I’m not a Veteran of any armed conflict although sometimes I feel that less destruction would be wrought if we used conventional weapons.  Rapier tongue and acerbic utterances inflict emotional damage that is unforgivable.  Such was my day in the office.

Like most people I enjoy being right.  But, there are times when being right isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.  Like when you predict an aerial strafing run replete with fifty caliber words and emotional napalm.

In my younger and impetuous days I would have fired a retaliatory heat-seeking missile of verbiage that would have blasted the enemy long before she was able to unleash the brunt of her attack.

Today was a day when I took the emotional high ground and repulsed the onslaught with an invisible force field of emotional protection.  Nobody wins when everybody goes off the reservation, wigs out or explodes.  Fighting fire with fire would have laid waste to the guilty as well as the innocent.

Such is human nature at its worst.  You learn to deal or you become consumed by the fire of hatred.  I know, hate is an ugly emotion – difficult to contain and easy to release.  After the meeting, shell-shocked attendees filed out to have one-on-one hallway conversations; attempting to apply salve to the gaping wounds inflicted on an otherwise innocent participant.

 Hunting down the miscreant I closed the door to her office and let he know that I was an IUD with a pressure fuse that was set to detonate.  That disclosure was enough to get her attention and shift her from attack mode to one of conciliation.  What do you do in a situation like that?  The person knows they were wrong.  You know there’s something deep rooted that transcends the work environment. This person has issues that could keep a psychiatrist in therapy for years.

We talked about the problem.  The mood was eerily calm.  I listened and absorbed.  After half an hour of her regurgitating the same problems, which from my perspective had nothing to do with office operations, I departed on a high note realizing this was destined to recur.  But I wasn’t going to allow it to interfere with my mood any longer than necessary.

Circling back with other meeting attendees they expressed distress and disbelief over the attack; refusing to provide one iota of sympathy or support for their colleague whose approach to confrontation would have qualified her for kamikaze status.

Ruffled feathers smoothed and peace spoken in private – the team began to gel again but there would be a scar.  The takeaway is that reason can be stretched to breaking but will undoubtedly respond to appropriate remediation.  But things may never quite be restored to predestruction state.  Wounds carry memories and scar tissue reminds of the devastation wrought by thoughtless and selfish people.

Take everything in stride.  Flex emotional muscles only to the extent necessary and you will earn and retain the respect of those who matter most to you.

Love and hugs, Nikki DiCaro