Lasting Impressions

Impressions last.  People may not express reaction outwardly; not because they are oblivious, because they choose to maintain an air of disinterest.  These impressions can cut for the good or for the bad.  A recent weekend experience at an LGBT-accepting dining establishment (one I’ve frequented as the true female I am and in my boy costume – the owner and the wait staff know and welcome me in either presentation) left an indelible impression on me.  These people have been good to my friends and me and always pleasantly served up a few meals for me us.

I focus on impressions due to an unpleasant occurrence during one of the visits.  A CD patron spotted us walking to a booth towards the second half of the diner.  She (please don’t use male pronouns, even through honest mistake under pain of verbal attack of killer expletives) made her way towards us.  Plopping down in a booth across the aisle she said “Hi.”

We returned the greeting.  Then I made a mistake, I slid to my right and offered her the opportunity to join us for a few minutes.  The visit was more an accosting.  Foul breath made me want to gag; a row of black lower teeth the culprit.  Oral hygiene problems sometimes go unnoticed.  What transpired during this laborious and eventually painful interchange did not go unnoticed and was a vitriolic diatribe about lawsuits, public confrontations and attack mode interactions at every turn in this person’s troubled life.

When I tried to gently encourage her to get on with her evening she decided to overstay her already strained welcome.  The next day I received the other side of the story.  This person was being tolerated by the conventionals.  She insisted on making a scene each time she dined at the establishment.  Her tone was gruff, voice deep and gravely and it carried well throughout the long seating area.  As much as she insisted on being referred to exclusively in the feminine, when she dined with her the son he referred to her in the masculine gender and used the term “dad” in conversation.  Not only did this create confusion for the wait staff and ownership, it also created tension with the other diners. 

As we listened the temperature in the room rose.  I was on the verge of asking her more emphatically to leave.  Maybe she read my body language or my karma was broadcasting negative energy.  After she departed the building (she was no female Elvis impersonator) my dining companion and I looked at each other and drew the same conclusion; her incessant vocal public displays of animus were giving us a collective large and prominent reputational shiner.

We need to exercise vigilance about how we approach matters; including but not limited to how we present to the eye as well as to the ear.  Calling undue attention through shock factor may make you feel good but it badly bruises us.  Also, brandishing the law like a light sabre benefits nobody, except maybe the lawyers financially.

Be watchful for the benefit of our community and for the peace of mind of the public generally.

Love and hugs, Nikki DiCaro