Age is Only a Number, Right?

I hope I never get old.  Age is only a number if you’re not predisposed to stereotypical behavior.  Who wants to be old; acting like retiring Ozzie and Harriet characters complete with reclining rocking chair, pipe and bedroom slippers.  Old person noises that seem to ignore the fact that throat clearing is not music to the ears. Is it me or do any of you feel there’s some invisible force attracting these types to you as well?

Yes I’m bothered by unconscious behavior.  When does consideration get tossed with the bathwater? We’re all (well at least most of us) are too kind and gentle to express discomfort when sniffling is so loud and forceful that it makes my nose hurt.  I want to provide tissues, inhaler, nasal spray or the name of a good otolaryngologist.

The old guy sitting next to me on the train is struggling to keep lunch down.  I think he’s suffering acid reflux or something comparably unsettling.  He continues to clear his throat making me wish I was temporarily deaf.  Some noise canceling headsets don’t drown out the sound of bodily functions.  I’m considering calling the manufacturer on their claim to block unwanted noise.  Sounds from bodily functions are not “wanted noise” at least not to my ear canals.

I guess things could be worse.  I haven’t seen anything resembling lung tissue exiting from my newest train buddy.  I remind myself that acting my age is so unsavory; especially if I do what he just did - slipping a finger up his nose.  Fingers doubling as nasal probes make me want to carry disposable surgical gloves.  This guy’s hands, the same ones that find facial orifices irresistible, will be touching door handles to this train.  I’ll not be opening the door unless someone disinfects said public surfaces.

Yes, there are many passengers preceding said nasal investigator.  Who knows where those hands have been.  OMG I may have to consider investing in a HAZMAT suit.  I could tell inquisitive passengers we’re shooting scenes from Breaking Bad.  Do you think they’d buy my explanation?

I think I’ll work harder at not touching my face or other exposed flesh on my body until I can scrub up at home.  That’s one bright spot in an otherwise germ-infested environment. There are others.  I’ve heard that exposure to germs helps to strengthen the immune system.  I think I'll go home and exercise.  Are there exercises for my white blood cells and lymph nodes?  If you come across any send me an email at nikkinicole999@gmail.com.  I’ll share them in future posts.

Have a wonderfully lighthearted weekend.

Love and hugs, Nikki DiCaro