Breaking the Chains

Drowning in a sea of fear; a scary thought.  Fear is powerful.  Sometimes it carries a warning generating protective activities.  Other times fear freezes thought and action.  Healthy fear has its place.  Destructive fear should never be the purpose for not doing something important to us that is not destructive to others.  We’ve all been there; the place where questioning, doubting and second-guessing overrules strength of character.

Weakness, the first cousin of fear tags along and will pave the way for fear or follow closely in fear’s wake.  Succumbing to those two will immobilize, debilitate, undermine, subvert and ruin our best-laid plans.  After waiting however long for the opportunity to express verbally, emotionally or physically, we recoil.  Standing down we then fret about lost chances.

I’ve been there.  How many times have I gotten myself amped up to do something for myself only to recede. I convinced myself to do something – dress and go out – only to fear that I might be detected, ridiculed or worse.  No I don’t wander into physically dangerous environments.  That’s something I believe I have enough discernment to identify. 

One of the ways to overcome is to break the chain; end the sequence.  Commit to something beneficial and follow through.  Easy for me to say?  Sure, but when I’ve forced myself to carry on I end up chastising for being reticent.  Why?  Because when I execute I liberate and feel both vindicated and fulfilled.  There is an effect, at least for me.  Fear and pullback are whittled to insignificance.  After several months of this practice I think I’m perfecting the process.  Instead of looking at preparing to go out as significant work (showering, moisturizing, shaving – but not so much since hormones – makeup, clothing, handbag – and all of the items that fill it - and shoes, accessories and hair) I convert an outing to a full day affair.  I’ll arrange to go out during the day and allow the day to carry me into an evening event.

Day clothing not appropriate for evening dress?  Carry a fresh skirt and heels, clutch and dressy accessories.  Women have the knack of dressing up or dressing down any outfit with shoes and hairstyle.  Happy to say I’m learning.  I’ve also finally (it’s only taken me two years) invested in quality cosmetics.  My favorites are MAC.  I’ve been out fifteen hours and my makeup looks fresh.  I’ve also graduated from lipstick to lip gloss and sealer – one application ensures all day and night with no touchups.

Sharing tips and tidbits that work for us helps others.  Teachable moments abound.  I appreciate those who are willing to share secrets of success.  Their information encourages and enables me to break through whatever illusory barriers erect in my path.  Brush fear aside; kick weakness to the curb.  It’s time to live the life we are destined to enjoy.

Love and hugs, Nikki DiCaro