The Pachyderm In The Room

Sometimes a problem grows in size as if being fed constantly.  That’s the case when consternation, fear of confrontation or some other emotional or psychological ingredient is added to the food dish.

On countless occasions I can remember putting off the inevitable, read dealing with the problem, until the room filled to overflowing with the elephant that had grown to mammoth proportions.

It’s not easy to deal; to address a situation frontally.  Yes, I know sometimes the problem shrinks until the solution occurs organically.  If only that happened every time; we could avert confrontation.

So why must a solution include confrontation, raised voices, anxiety and ill will that is the classic byproduct of tense encounters?  I frame the argument because I am the poster child for providing unnecessary nourishment to the aforementioned pachyderm.

Fear not, I’m dense, but not impenetrable.  I’ve taken to defusing a potentially incendiary situation with tact and aplomb.  It wasn’t easy to get me to that place where self-confidence reigns supreme.  Maybe it’s my maturity.  I know what you’re thinking; don’t go there!  Or it’s my desire to get past all the fretting and just deal with it.

The problem isn’t going to dry up and blow away, especially when others rely on your ability to deal.  Setting an example can he burdensome or it can be energizing.  I’ve experienced both in dosages that might be considered dangerously close to fatal.  Fortunately I survived and am living to tell you there is hope.  No situation is hopeless even if it means addressing a matter by using discretion.  You don’t always have to engage to deal.  You can exit gracefully, dignity intact, to live another day.

No confrontation is worth physical risk, no matter how physically endowed you may be.  There will always be someone faster and stronger.  And oh if that other person enjoys bullying, exiting rapidly and gracefully is your best option.

Why did I take us down that literary rabbit hole?  Because I wanted you to know that those elephants not only crowd you out, they leave big piles of fertilizer to clean up.  And unless you enjoy that form of mammalian company, take stock of your emotional strength and take on whatever needs your attention sooner rather than later.  You’ll feel empowered and you’ll probably sleep better.

Go ahead, prove it to yourself.  I’ll bet your new best friends will be an ear to ear smile and a noticeable bounce in your step.

Have a thoroughly terrific Thursday.

Love and hugs, Nikki DiCaro