The "Jenner" Effect

Monday after the Friday evening interview and the airwaves are abuzz with conclusions (sometimes without the benefit of fact – like my brother who is a ready, fire, aim type) about why Jenner has gone public with the disclosure.  Such disclosure wasn’t secret prior to the interview.

First a generalization – people do things for reasons that are not always easy to comprehend.  Public figures hide behind the mask of honor bestowed upon the office by prior figures.  Others shy away from the limelight and choose to attempt to tamp down their stardom for the sake of privacy.

“Hard to agree that Jenner was fastidious about the secret.  Sure, s/he (which pronoun is appropriate?) was in the public eye more than out of it.  The hero of the Olympics (when heroes were not a dime a dozen) utilized fame to generate fortune.  Which of us wouldn’t capitalize on the opportunity to parlay hard work and accomplishment into financial gain?  Don’t we do that at work now?  Jenner’s situation was many magnitudes higher than ours.

Was the interview good, bad or neutral for the transgender community?  Did the interview polarize and/or catalyze?  From what I saw in the media, both!  Talking heads see blood in the water and begin thrashing about leveling opinion like sixteen inch guns at the conquering hoards.  Some are repulsed, others are gratified – all have opinions.

I ponder whether Jenner had a choice about going public, not about gender, or was Jenner confirming rumor and innuendo?  Ever have a situation in life that weighed like an albatross (I don’t know the weight of an albatross but I can imagine the level of discomfort if the animal was hung from my neck) or a millstone?  Did you struggle mightily to retain your secret until you couldn’t carry it any longer?  Once you laid down the burden you felt better, right?  Cue the James Taylor song, You’ve Got a Friend. … People can be so cruel, they can hurt you, and desert you, well they’ll take your soul if you let them…Well then don’t you let them.

Did Jenner take back his public soul?  Did the body language in the interview send mixed messages – possibly.  Could the clothing and the gestures have been more representative of the female side?  Should earrings have adorned the ears and nail polish adorned the fingers?  Sure, the staging could have been better.  And the staging could have been worse!  Was there a financial incentive for the interview – more than likely.  Would you have done such an interview that drove ratings into the stratosphere for the benefit of only the group you represent?

From the interview came “ah ha” moments – teachable moments.  The interview also stokes the flames of discontent among those who choose to live by very strict convention – except when something in their lives bucks convention and causes them to see a color that heretofore was not part of their black and white existence.

Recall that slavery formally ended 150 years ago, yet we continue to struggle against the yoke of prejudice.  Sympathizers of both extremes continue to this day.  There will always be those whose rigidity spurs others to be rigid.  Those are not the stalwarts we choose to address – lost causes.  We choose to address those who are close to the center, open to facts and situations, willing to listen and understand even if they are not accepting immediately.

If Jenner never revealed in the way Jenner chose, then there would always be the speculation.  If drama and uncertainty swirled around you like caustic fog, would you be able to shrug it off and live your life in blissful ignorance of the reaction of others and how they might be impacting your life and the lives of those who care for you?

The interview could have focused on the travails of the six biological children who were probably adversely impacted by degradation of certain social relationships.  Maybe the insensitivity of those who hurled epitaphs or whispered negativity should have been highlighted.  I didn’t hear any “woe is me and my poor family”.  For that and many other reasons I am grateful for Jenner’s honesty and willingness to put life on hold in order to show that not all unconventional people are abnormal.

This situation will be a media event for some time.  Let’s bask in the glow of certain circles that will be strengthened by the story.  The Jenner story is nothing new but the coverage is widespread and far reaching.  Utilize the energy and momentum to address a long and lingering doubt in your life.

In closing let me offer the following words from my mother, who has known about Nikki for almost two years and who enjoys the daughter she never had.  “I watched the Bruce Jenner interview.  I heard the same things you told me when we talked about Nikki.  This is not a lifestyle, this is not something you choose.  This is something you are born with.  I think he is brave for doing the interview.”

Love and hugs, Nikki DeCaro